


this is what makes us girls

by vanishingstars



Category: Doki Doki Literature Club! (Visual Novel)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asexual Monika, Biracial Monika, Biromantic Monika, Demisexual Sayori, F/F, F/M, LESBIAN NATSUKI, Pansexual Yuri, i try to give realistic appearance descriptions to everyone, literature is sexy in this one, monika also isnt self aware and none of that shit happens
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-02-11 15:47:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12938517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanishingstars/pseuds/vanishingstars
Summary: monika assigns a singular topic for each member of the club.'what makes us girls'the only male member of the club sighs, smiling with hesitant amusement. sayori laughing behind him.





	1. of your smile and my adoring eyes

_what i am_

 

_i am_

_the pink of my smile_

_the crease of my eye_

_bubblegum lips_

_and a savory kiss_

 

_i am_

_the shade of my hair_

_the curve of my skirt_

_a spark in the sky_

_not yours to call by_

 

_i am_

_a lover of girls_

_of women_

_of love_

_of softness_

_and beauty_

 

_i am_

_a girl,_

_dangerous_

_and beautiful_

_a whirlwind_

_is what i am_

 

* * *

 

monika roams over natsuki's piece, green eyes silently reading every line. natsuki fidgets slightly, resorting to biting chapped lips.

 

when monika finishes, she smiles. "natsuki!" she exclaims, a dimple appearing on the side of her face. "this is amazing! oh my, i absolutely love the language in this! it's got this feeling, like- i'm safe. it has a very glamorous vibe, i'm proud!" 

 

natsuki grins proudly, her hands gesturing at the notebook paper clutched between monika's fingers. "i know, i worked hard on this one! the language is simple and easy to understand, but the context hits you hard if you actually look for it," she crosses her arms, smirking triumphantly.

 

yuri approaches monika from behind, violet-shot eyes peering over her shoulders. they widen slightly and her lips fall agape. natsuki feels a sudden rush of pride at one of her best works, and she bathes in the spotlight.

 

"th-the wordplay isn't bad.." yuri manages and natsuki feels that spotlight being tugged away from her. "not bad?" she pouts and furrows her brows, yuri backtracks.

 

"i-i mean that, uh, it-its a very, very stark contrast from what you usually decide to go with," yuri tugs on the collar of her shirt, fidgeting with her blazer buttons before panicked eyes met natsuki's own. "what i'm saying is that- it's ve-very nice." yuri gulps.

 

natsuki grins wolfishly, giggling loudly. "aw, thank you, yuri! i guess your own _fancy-shmancy_ poetry isn't so bad either." her grin dies down to a soft smile and yuri flushes pink, looking away while muttering her thanks.

 

monika looks back at the door, waiting for a pair of childhood friends to walk through. she frowns at their timing and coughs awkwardly, a tiny smile gracing the biracial girls face. "okay everyone! while we wait for sayori and her friend, lets read yuri's poem!"

 

yuri jumps at the mention of her name and scurries back to her seat, scrambling for her notebook. she takes it out and pushes it into monika's palm, said girl already flipping through the pages.

 

* * *

 

_Inside_

 

_It is inside of me where I feel most comfortable._

_It is when my fingers linger near my womanhood, that I feel most like myself. It is when I am in the most pleasure that I feel so full._

 

_It is when I remember that I am different. That what I am is_

_long, socked legs_

_red, glossed lips_

_and the hungry, lustful smiles of men_

_and women alike._

 

_It is what makes me feel so good,_

_inside._

_It is what makes me_

_a woman_

_truly_

_and powerfully_

 

* * *

 

monika gaps at the notebook; wide, forest green eyes drifting up to yuri, and then back to the book. then back to yuri.

 

said girl flushes fluorescent red. "i-its supposed to be a different persona!" she stutters, cheeks managing to blush a darker shade of ruby. monika stumbles on her wording too. "uh, woah. it's very g-good!" she attempts a wobbly smile and yuri mirrors her. monika's eyes scan back across the lines and her smile grows wider, more relaxed.

 

"yeah, actually- this is amazing! the persona in this poem is so open with her body, it's kind of inspiring, really!" she looks back up at yuri and grins. yuri blushes and tucks her hair behind her ear, obviously not very used to praise.

 

natsuki snatches the book away from monika and quickly reads it, eyes widening comically while she skims over it.

 

"this is actually not so horrible," she blushes and exaggeratedly pouts, pushing the book back to yuri. if it were possible, yuri's already crimson cheeks darken.

 

the doors to the clubroom suddenly slam open, revealing the figures of a certain special duo.

 

"sorry, monika!" sayori waves, "forgive me!" monika just sighs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i wrote the poems
> 
> please kudos and comment if you liked it <33


	2. of being in love

sayori fumbles as she makes her way over to monika, swiftly wrapping her arms around the taller girls neck. "i'm so sorry, we got so caught up after classes and lost track of time," she smiles nervously, digging her chin into monika's shoulder. the darker skinned girl sighs, before rolling her eyes.

 

"it's fine, sayori. just prepare your poems so we can start sharing." monika gently pushes sayori off her and smiles awkwardly, yet sincerely. sayori beams back, and saunters back over to her long time childhood best friend. monika's eyes trail over the pair of them, sayori talking animatedly with the darker haired boy- a small smile dancing across his face. monika stares at the both of them like how a thirsty man stares at a faraway jug of water, longingly.

 

she is brought out of her stupor when natsuki elbows her side, causing monika to let out a sudden " _oof!_ "

 

clutching her side, she quickly turns to look at natsuki, said girl looking smug as she raises a single brow at monika. her grin dies down as she fully faces the taller girl, and monika is met with a tiny, concerned frown. "you okay over there?" monika purses her lips. "i just-" natsuki starts and gestures around herself, and then to the pair of friends only a few feet away from them. "i know how you feel about them," she whispers before promptly crossing her arms. monika shakes her head, and simply smiles. "it's alright, natsuki. if they're happy, i'll leave them be." her already tiny smile becomes bittersweet as she looks back at them, eyes turning glassy. natsuki softly shakes monika's elbow, once again bringing her out of her own thoughts.

 

"you guys! get over here!" and just like that, monika is back to the dilligent club president everyone knows and loves. she waves the duo over and they scurry over to their seats, sayori snatches her paper and grins at everyone else. yuri trades poems with the only male member, and natsuki attempts to peek over his shoulder to read yuri's poem once more.

 

"can you read this first?" sayori shyly peeks up at monika through her lashes and said girl flusters, then nods. sayori smiles softly before handing over her poem, their fingertips touching. 

 

* * *

 

_Pros & Cons_

 

_I hate the way they stare at me,_

_like they don't know what food is._

_They do not know respect._

_I hate how they lick their lips and call me out,_

_it makes me sick._

_And then I'll_ _run fast!_

_I know they won't find me here._

_I won't risk it._

 

_I hate it when I look in the mirror,_

_I know I'll see the marks against my thighs,_

_the hair against my thick calves,_

_the fat in my stomach._

_It bulges and makes fun of me._

_Yet, he tells me I'm pretty,_

_I'm amazing,_

_I'm worth it._

_I think I might believe him._

 

_I love the way they stare at me,_

_with open lips, admiring eyes._

_They tell me I am smart, respected._

_I love the praise!_

_The attention!_

_Especially from him._

_He's special._

_He makes me happy,_

_I think I believe him now._

 

_I love it when I look in the mirror._

_When I see the fight scars against thick thighs,_

_newly shaved calves._

_The pudge of my tummy greets me, I tell them hello._

_'It's nice to see you! Hope you're healthy!'_

_I already know the answer._

 

_Now I feel confident in skirts,_

_Confident in my skin,_

_in my own body._

_Myself._

_And this poem!_

* * *

 

monika reads the first bit with a tiny scowl, as she continues, that frown becomes parted lips, then a slowly widening smile- and then a full out beam. her eyes crinkle at the edges as monika reads the last verse. over. and over. once more.

 

she bites her lips and, as if it were possible, her smile grows larger- she slams the ripped piece of paper down against the desk and excited, prideful eyes meet that of sayori's own murky blue ones. her smile lingers against her face, twinkling bright, near blinding. sayori gulps and reflects her. they both glint and shimmer, sparkle and shine.

 

"s-sayori.." monika begins before bringing in the shorter girl for a hug. sayori shuts her eyes and indulges in monika's warmth. "i'm so proud of you." the darker haired girl feels sayori smile against her shoulder, and she squeezes tighter.

 

monika holds on for as long as she can, just to let the other girl know that she cares. sayori lingers for a bit, before parting from monika, her smile tiny and lopsided. "i love it." monika says, her smile faltering for a split second.

 

_i love you._

"you're an amazing writer, sayori."

 

_you're amazing._

 

"you should be proud of yourself."

 

_i love you so much, don't you know that?_

 

"thanks monika, you're the best!"

 

instead, monika grins down at sayori. said girl breaking contact, before reaching for her poem and bouncing over to natsuki.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love some good angsty monika
> 
> please comment if you liked !! <3


	3. of being too much

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> save me.
> 
>  
> 
> load me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy!! <3

monika slumps into her chair, shoving an arm inside her backpack and shoveling around. she finds what she'd been looking for and takes the bulky notebook out, yuri watching as she does this.

 

"a-are you writing a novel?" she questions somewhat playfully, teasingly. monika quirks a smile and yuri laughs breathily. " _this_ ," she emphasises with her fingers. "is my very, very organised poetry notes. as you can see, it's well-worn." monika smiles indulgently, the taller girl nodding politely. "i had one, although it wasn't as used as y-yours." yuri tuts and frowns at the thought of her failed attempt at organisation. "i gave up after a bit," she smiles guiltily and monika bemusedly looks back at her.

 

"really? i thought you'd be way more organised than most of us!" she exclaims and yuri flushes, tucking her head back into her collar, unkept bangs shading violet-shot eyes. "it's- it is hard to keep track of." yuri admits quietly and monika snorts, causing the younger girl to pout at her.

 

yuri tilts her head in the books direction. "d-do you write in your free time?" monika turns back to the darker haired girl, lips pursed. "you could say that," monika shrugs and her eyes wander back to the notebook. yuri watches with a keen eye as monika's posture slips and she begins writing albeit more frantically. 

 

and she doesn't move for another twenty minutes. she sits there and writes god knows what for a whole twenty minutes. in that time span, yuri has already traded poems with nearly the entire club, reread a chapter of  _the portrait of markov_ and managed to have a decent conversation with natsuki.

 

yuri is generally terrified and concerned when monika suddenly bounces up from her desk, shutting the book closed and she steadily marches to the doorway, legs shaky. she stops right before exiting, green eyes suddenly widening. her head snaps back in yuri's direction, she swiftly shouts out a "i need to go to the bathroom!" before finally sprinting shakily out the clubroom. yuri's concern only spikes.

 

she quickly looks back at the others, natsuki is already in the closet and sayori chatting steadily with her friend, his eyes dancing and smile blooming. yuri looks away.

 

approching the desk, she looks down at the bulky book. the paper is golden from use and has a few loose edges poking out. yuri bites her lip, and debates her options. at the rate monika left the room, it is plausible that she won't be back for awhile. the others are too ingrossed in what they're doing, and if they do notice, yuri can shrug it off as another heavy novel she recently picked up. and yet she felt guilty. 

 

inhaling deeply, yuri fidgets with the spine. she's got nothing to lose, plus they're just poems. she attempts to ration herself but only succeeds in making herself cringe. wetting chapped lips, yuri hastily picks the book up and walks back to her desk.

 

* * *

 

_wHAt is nonsense, betHAny?_

_BETHANY IS horrible._

_always causIng trouble for me._

_she acts like she's better than me, than what i Do, than what othErs do._

_shes trouble. pure, ugly trouble._

_nonsensesensesensesensesensesenseical_

_trouble._

 

_bethAny only cares about herself._

_what? its true._

_she's stupiD, dumb, selfish_

_i hate her_

_she's ugly, and trouble_

_fuckiNg bethany._

_mOst likely With another boy_

 

_shoving COCK UP HER THROAT_

_stupid slut._

 

_betHAnybetHAnybetHAnybetHanybetHAnybetHAny_

 

_she was never that needed anyway._

 

_she can make herself useful now._

 

_in the back of a DUMPSTER with HER HEAD SEVERED_

 

_stupid bethany._

 

* * *

 

yuri enjoyed the language of that one, and quickly cracked the code. she giggles to herself, amused and in awe at monika's choice of writing. the president always had a very unique way with words, capitalizing letters to spell out a meaning, or using a very glitchy system to make it seem less humane. more humanoid instead.

 

perhaps bethany was someone that annoyed the persona alot. so much it seemed to have drove said persona to murder. poor, stupid bethany.

 

only monika knows.

 

yuri reads some more.

 

* * *

 

_po  e_

  t   r

_y_

_i love pOetry._

_it is a refined art, delicate yet elegant._

_i can write my feelings out, watcH the iNk seep frOm my pen._

_my pen,_

_it is my favourite tooltooltooltool_

 

_SHE IS SUCH A TOOL_

_STUPID, IDIOTIC_

_A TOOL_

_NOTHING SHE IS NOTHING NOTHING COMPARED TO MY T_

 

_O_

 

_O     L S_

 

_poetry is gorgeous._

_a system, where no flaws exist._

_near perfect._

_i can_

_write_

_with the style_

_of_

_fragmented poetry,_

_or with a rhyme!_

_so in depth with time._

 

_free verse is fun too,_

_i can rant away with anything i'd like to say!_

 

 

_I C A A     N_

 

_AA D MI T   TH A_

 

_T        I   K I LLE       D    H_

_E    R_

 

_HA_

_HA_

_HA_

 

_aND  y OU  W ON_

_'T     KN O_

_W_

 

 

_yes, such an amazing art._

_poetry,_

_it's something i hold deep in my heart_

 

 

_a kn_

 

_i f    e_

 

 

_i   us e  d_

_a kn   if_

 

_e_

 

* * *

 

oh. that one was.. alarming. she's quite a fan of horror, but reading something like that, written by a close friend of yuris? she sneaks a quick glance at the doorway.

 

maybe the persona of this poem had also commited murder, and the only way they could speak about it without guilt is when they're writing? meta was something yuri loved, and she has to admit, she heavily enjoyed finding the meaning behind monika's unique writing.

 

monika sure has a thing for muder.

 

i-in her poetry, of course!

 

debating if she wants to continue, yuri accidentally meets natsuki's gaze, said girl exiting from the dusty closet. her eyes light up and she marches over to her, leaning against her desk with a tense nonchalance. "you reading something new?" she starts and yuri blanches, lips tight. "uh."

 

natsuki raises a single brow, and yuri blurts the first thing that comes to mind.

 

_"i found this erotica at the bookstore!"_

 

if it were possible, yuri would've been whiter than sheets, sickly, about to puke. natsuki mirrors her- pale, lips tight and eyes widened. "u-uh. okay. you- go ahead and co-continue.." natsuki stumbles away, cheeks flushed and posture tense. yuri mentally slaps herself, embarassed that the one time she was able to talk to the girl she liked, she scares her away. 

 

frown still intact, yuri ruefully continues reading.

 

* * *

 

_Is it true?_

_Is it true, is it true?_

_That you quit that board?_

_That you've been kicked out to the road?_

_Is it true, is it true?_

_That you're secretly smoking pot?_

_That they left you to rot?_

 

_It is true, it is true!_

_That she's a freak!_

_It is true, it is true!_

_She's got things for both her peers!_

_It is true, it is true!_

_That her clothes actually reek!_

_It is true, it is true!_

_That she's really got some fears!_

_That's disgusting!_

_That's unnatural!_

_That's crazy!_

_Woah!_

 

_Yes it's true, yes it's true._

_But I'm not telling you._

 

 

_(scrap this later.)_

 

* * *

 

 

her gaze roams the pages once more, lips agape. it didn't take a genius to figure out this poem's persona is monika herself. yuri's eyes always manage to find its way down to the little note, written in the corner. she chews at her lip, wondering if she should talk to monika.

 

this is why she shouldn't have done this.

 

' _she's got things for both her peers_ '? what does that mean?yuri is about to flip the page once more, when she hears steady, confident footsteps outside; and sayori rushes out the door, yuri hears her shout out an ecstatic " _monika!_ "

 

yuri quickly bounces up and drops the book on monika's desk, making sure it looked as if it wasn't ever touched. she hurriedly plomps back in her seat and grabs  _the portrait of markov,_ flipping to a random page.

 

monika and sayori enter the clubroom, steadily chatting. a tiny smile is present on the taller girls face while sayori is blissfully oblivious, as usual.

 

yuri sighs shakily, and turns to grab her backpack. 

 

she locks eyes with natsuki, her lips parted in shock, and yuri realises.

 

_'oh fuck me she saw'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fucking bethany


	4. of little love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIRST UPDATE OF 2018!! im so late

natsuki hurriedly gets up, frowning as she strides over to yuri's desk. said girl flushed, staring at her lap guiltily. natsuki scowls further. her shoes thud against wooden floors, loud and somewhat threatening to yuri's frightened ears. she skids to a halt and the elder is met with a flushed, disgruntled natsuki.

 

dainty fingers dart out and grip the back of yuri's chair with a force the older deemed odd for natsuki's size, her face- flushed cheeks, a button nose, and parted lips. it is all only mere inches away from yuri. natsuki's eyes narrow defensively and she bares her teeth. yuri crosses her legs. gulps.

 

" _what. was. that._ " yuri squeaks as she registers just how pissed natsuki was, nervous eyes darting in every direction possible. she quivers and shakes and natsuki softens. she mutters, something sounding like _just what d_ _o you do to me?_  yuri barely heard the other girl, content with just writing off the odd statement. natsuki's head droops, a faceful of peppermint scented hair all over a red faced yuri.

 

"natsuki," yuri starts, fingers tentatively rising, too shy and too hesitant to push the brash girl away. "i'm sorry, i did not mean to meddle or pry." she squirms, embarrassed and put off by her own words, cringing at her lack of wordplay. natsuki's neck snaps up; wide, light eyes boring into yuri's own like a displeased owl. pale pink lips frown, unsatisfied. "why are you apologising to me for?" she cuts out, spit narrowly avoiding yuri. she swears and apologises, suddenly stepping back and yuri tries not to miss her warmth.

 

"what i mean is," natsuki gestures slightly, face scrunched up as she searches for her words. "you should say sorry to monika. most of the shit she writes is experimental and, in my opinion- no offense, weird. she lent it to me once and there was some _alien-robot-glitch-baby-hybrid_ fuckers." she pauses, catching her breath. "it's all up in your face, basically. there's some personal stuff, too. things that monika needs to sort out in that pretty, fucked up head of hers." she huffs with a flourish, crossing her arms with lazy vigour. her face falls as if suddenly remembering something. "oh. sorry for snapping at you earlier, monika's kind of a big deal to me," natsuki's eyes dart to sayori and the dark haired boy standing closely next to her. yuri's own eyes narrow, thinking.

 

she's impressed at how changed natsuki is. just moments ago she had looked as if she were getting ready for a fight, tiny stature and all. and now she was talking steadily, simply advising yuri to apologise, and then moving on. the darker haired girl stares on, in awe. watching as natsuki continues to yap about either monika, monika's writing, or just how ' _crazy_ ' monika is. yuri cannot miss the endearment lacing natsuki's tone, slight yet still there. she admires their bond. her watchful gaze sets on natsuki, a tiny smile framing her delicate, porcelain face.

 

natsuki's stare suddenly snaps to sayori and monika, now chatting. she eyes them for a long minute before swiftly turing back to yuri. said girl ponders how natsuki manages to avoid whiplash, her small smile toying.

 

"natsuki, if you move your neck so fast, you'd-" yuri is cut off with natsuki's own _"yeah, yeah- i know."_

 

the light haired girl perches herself onto the elder's desk, not at all phased by yuri's sad attempt at a subject change. she whispers. "you know, monika _really_ likes death in her writing. murder, suicide, old age, sickness; it's all there. and if there's no death, it's probably something personal and high chance you're going to get your ass whooped by either monika, or monika. maybe even monika." yuri is bemused but she catches natsuki's quick wink, her small smirk. she's at a loss of words. it's kind of hard to keep track of her.

 

natsuki is about to continue, when suddenly, speak of the devil, monika bounds over to them. the heavy book perched on her left hand. "hi natsuki, yuri! have you guys read each others poems?" natsuki nods wordlessly, yuri manages a quiet  _"yes, monika."_

 

"that's good. so it's just me then?" natsuki corrects her, reminding monika that the boy only a few feet from them had yet to reveal his poem. monika huffs a tiny laugh and shifts the weight of the book onto her right arm. yuri attempts not to eye it so much. "alright then," she brings the notes up to her vision and starts flipping through, lazily scanning the pages she wrote at, most likely, two in the morning.

 

"found it!" monika singsongs and flips her book placing it on the desk in front of yuri and natsuki. they huddle together and begin to read.

 

* * *

 

 _the B_ a _throom is my happy place_

 

_the Bathroom smells of artificial_

_soap_

_and expensive scrubs_

_my mother buys_

_and never uses._

_the floor_

_seeped with shallow puddles_

_i step on them and cringe._

 

_stepping into the shower now_

_and turning the tap,_

_i sink againt the wall_

_and wail_

_for hours_

_he's not coming for me._

 

_i brought my glasses in with me._

_absentmindedly._

_idiot,_

_outcast,_

_utter loser,_

_is what he thinks_

_of me_

 

_it was two against the world_

_him and i_

_number one and his_

_number two._

_i was number one_

_was_

 

_the Bathroom is getting foggy_

_my glasses now clouded with steam_

_wetness sinks into my skin_

_and almost burns me_

_like that night_

 

_that night_

_i was in the Bathroom_

_he had already left me_

_for something newer_

_and better,_

_i was the discarded toy_

_the little boy grew bored of_

 

_the Bathroom, at that time,_

_it shouted at me._

_clean walls screaming_

_get out_

_or_

_burn_

_i scream back._

_fat, ugly tears_

_run down my cheek_

_i pity myself_

_for_ _he took everything i loved_

_and ran,_

_himself included._

 

_and now,_

_the Bathroom greets me again_

_i,_

_under steaming water_

_and it_

_being here_

_when i need_

_my happy place_

 

 

_later, i pop the bottle._

_red liquid fizzes up,_

_smell of dew_

_promising him to_

_come back to me._

 

* * *

 

yuri scans the page with an awed berth. lips parted and eyebrows furrowed, intense. natsuki differs, her eyes wide where yuri's were narrow, lips sealed tight. thin brows shot up, hiding behind shaggy bangs. finally, after five full minutes of yuri scanning the pages with increasing puzzlement, she looks up to quiet monika, hesitantly muttering an awkward and tense _"meaning?"_

 

natsuki's head shoots up and begins nodding frantically.

 

monika's smile is small and blissfully ignorant, she slams her book closed and sets a free palm against clothed hips.

 

"free style! i had just finished a nice, hot shower at that time and some..  _inspiring_ music struck me," she shrugs and giggles girlishly, white ribbons curling behind her pretty head. yuri self-consciously tugs at the dark, unwashed split ends flowing down her shoulder. she grimaces. _'i need a haircut.'_

 

"what kind of music?" natsuki continues impishly, monika stiffens, as if caught, her shoulders slump and a tiny frown masks her dewy face. "it's special." she turns her nose up playfully, natsuki rolls her eyes and yuri awkwardly chuckles. they're _both_ too hard to keep track of.

 

"is.. this about abandonment issues?" yuri offers, playing with her hair. monika smiles, lazily. "i know how i assigned everyone poems about what makes them a girl, but i decided to play around with the concept a bit," she shuffles her feet, and blows a hair from her face.

 

"everyone wrote such inspiring poems about independancy, like sayori's heart-wrenching one about overcoming self-image. natsuki's dear piece about the simplicity of feminity. and yuri," monika takes a long breath, tiny grin slightly lopsided. "yuri's beautiful script about how being comfortable in your own skin and pleasure comes foremost." monika finishes her little tandem, somewhat out of breath. green eyes alight with a faint glow.

 

everything she does is just so effortlessly _gorgeous._ yuri gulps and stares, intimidated yet awestruck.

 

monika continues. "so i wanted to try something different. i knew most of you would write about being your own person, so i decided on something other." natsuki whines with mocking disbelief, "you played us!" she jokes. monika grins, coy. "perhaps."

 

"i figured," monika starts, eyes wandering. "that i could try and potray a thing so everyday, like a bathroom, into something with actual meaning. like how an empty pen might mean so much to you, because it had belonged to boy you simply adore." her smile is toying and green eyes dart to yuri, then back to natsuki.

 

"and the end result was about how someone, not necessarily a girl, struggles to accept themselves after one half of them has left. being a girl isn't always bubblegum or pretty socks." monika eyes them both. "at times, it's about being scared for yourself, how codependency gets the best of you, and how it feels to be alone- when in reality, you're not." she finishes with a tiny, prideful smile. eyes alight with passion and joy, like she's cast a spell at them. yuri grins, glad to have monika as a strong role model.

 

it's quiet, comforting. suddenly, the smallest girl sticks her tongue out at monika, shaking her head. "i beg to differ, that nice speech doesn't mask your intentions, monika!" 

 

the spell is broken, and they both begin to pester each other about.. musicals? apparently non-broadway. personally, yuri prefered soft rock. she gives a wide berth at the pair of them and begins to scamper off, movements nowhere near graceful as monika, as cheery as sayori, or fierce like natsuki. her mind sucks itself into an anxiety ridden black hole, and she manages to scamper right back into a certain _boy_.

 

she turns hurriedly, chin tucked deep into her collar- and said boysmiles, and yuri squints. 

 

why are all her friends so bright and beautiful? this isn't good for plain, old her!

 

the boy in front of her shakes her shoulder, yuri's long bangs hiding a part of his face, so that she can only see his slightly pinked nose and boyish smile. he licks his lips, yuri catches a glimpse of his teeth. pearly white. typical.

 

he grins and utters out, a quiet but somehow charming _"want to read my poem?"_

 

and she's enraptured. guess everyone just has that effect on her. pretty boys and handsome girls shouldn't be in such close range with each other.

 

yuri smiles indulgently at the charismatic boy in front of her, nodding wordlessly. he glows. bringing the torn notebook paper to yuri's vision, she holds it, as if fragile, and reads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls comment a name suggestion for the player,, i'll even give credit pls i'M RUNNING OUT OF WAYS TO SAY ""BOY""
> 
> so far i've got _shujinko_ bc a quick google translate helped me learn that it translates into 'main character' or 'hero' in english aa
> 
> so comment if shujinko is nice pls  
> and comment and kudos in general pls ily<33
> 
> woah,, sayori and shujinko,,,,, CHILDHOOD BEST FRIENDS !! that sounds so COOL
> 
> these are the longest notes i've ever written hm
> 
> also did u enjoy my cliffhanger
> 
> ok then bye
> 
> thanks for reading <333


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